My Life With Eggnog

Written by Anika Henrikson

One would think that, given how much we talk about food in the newest issue (on stands now!), I wouldn't have the slightest inclination to discuss the intricacies of holiday fare. Alas, our Cheap Eats feature, in all its glory, has only furthered my desire for great food. But, this being Christmastime and all, I wanted to really explore one of my most favorite holiday treats: the eggnog milkshake.

Balk if you will, but this delicious item combines two of my favorite foods—if eggnog can really be considered a food...or ice cream for that matter.

I am of the thought that they can be.

Let's journey back four or five years to a Christmas when I was much more naïve about the world's penchant for combining foods (e.g. “Turducken” and Smucker's® Goober jelly/peanut butter jars). I was visiting my cousin and her husband in Idaho Falls, Idaho and we were perusing the shelves of the local grocery store, no doubt stocking up on the holiday essentials before we holed up in her house and feasted on copious amounts of cider and pumpkin pie.

My dear cousin knows of my eggnog love and mentioned getting a carton. My eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. And because I had just mentioned picking up some ice cream for dessert purposes, her wheels were turning. I'm sure she didn't intend to blow my mind, but her suggesting we get eggnog ice cream did just that. Having lived a fairly sheltered life, I had no idea this already existed. Or at least I couldn't remember it existed for the few moments my mind tried to comprehend drinking frothy, creamy eggnog ice cream out of a cup. It seemed like a dessert created by Lucifer himself! What evil genius would combine two of the best-tasting, worst foods (calorie-wise) and sell it? It seemed inherently wrong to ingest something like this.

You see, I was one of those kids whose mom never let them eat “junk” food. I was the kid who brought tuna sandwiches (wheat bread), carrot sticks, and oatmeal cookies to school for lunch. My classmates ate Wonder® bread peanut butter sandwiches, Doritos, and those delicate little snack cakes. I believe my unhealthy obsession with certain “taboo” foods started during this phase of my life. If I knew a food was unhealthy, I wanted it all the more!

But back to eggnog.

There's something mysterious about the beverage. Not so much in the ingredients list (eggs, cream and milk, sugar, a little nutmeg), but more about the fact that something you drink can be both delicious and catastrophically unhealthy at the same time. I can almost feel myself gaining weight with each sip. It's wonderful. It's horrible.

This factor has done nothing to deter me from drinking it every year. I like to think that, were eggnog around 12 months a year, I would drink it 12 months a year. But I also know that eggnog would lose its specialness if I began chugging it with every meal. This is probably the only reason why I'm not ordering eggnog from dairy farms across the US and paying exorbitant production and shipping fees.

Eggnog would no longer be linked solely with the smell of evergreen wreaths, the warm glow of a decorated Christmas tree, or the sound of jingle bells.

This would be a terrible thing.

Still, between December 1 and December 31, I see no reason why I can't enjoy a large eggnog milkshake when I see fit. There are a few places that make them locally. Maybe I'll do a little taste test comparison around town and see where the best shake can be found.

Then, come January 1, I'll try and see if my waist can be found.

Happy Holidays!

P.S. I just found recipes for eggnog fudge, eggnog cheesecake, and, hold on to your faces, eggnog cupcakes with bourbon-caramel cream cheese frosting. I guess this weekend will be spent in the kitchen.