Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job!

Written by Bakersfield Magazine

These are words I’ve heard time and time again and yet, somehow, I’ve managed to escape the fate of the almighty shears on a fairly regular basis.

If ever there was a theme song, this would be mine (my mantra, my political statement, my oxymoron): “Get a Haircut.”

These are words I’ve heard time and time again and yet, somehow, I’ve managed to escape the fate of the almighty shears on a fairly regular basis. Call it stubbornness, call it rebellion, call it laziness (my brother calls it lucky), I’d say it’s a combination of all of the above. I could just never figure out why it was so darn important for guys to have short hair when it came to employment. Sure, who wants a male doctor who has hair down to his waist. And have you ever seen a male lawyer that sports a foot-long ponytail? But for the most part, if your hair ain’t in the way, I say “let it grow.” (For the record, I’ll always be anti-mullet!)

Maybe that’s why I’ve had some of the jobs I’ve had—costumed character, gas station attendant, mobile home mover...the list goes on. But, more than likely, the weirdest thing I’ve ever done to make a buck was inspired by a chance viewing of Disney’s Johnny Tremain in 5th grade. Something about playing with fire and melting metal really appealed to me. I wanted to add Silversmith to my list of “When I Grow Up...” (I was sure the Boston Tea Party “Indian” positions would all be taken.)

Not long ago, I was fortunate enough to find a local lady who taught such a thing! I took classes three and four times a week, cramming my brain with the intricacies of my chosen craft, and soon I was ready to learn lost wax casting—let the fun begin!

I was instructed to find something small I wanted to cast in silver, keeping in mind that once it was cast, the original would be “lost” forever. An insect, a flower perhaps? Me? I chose black widow spiders.

My first one didn’t turn out so well, but with practice, perseverance, and a never-ending local supply of Latrodectus Hesperus, I was turning out some really unique pieces of silver spider jewelry before long. And, surprisingly, people bought them! Of course, keeping a jar full of black widows in the freezer really creeped-out my kids.

OK, so maybe that doesn’t technically qualify as a “job,” but we at Bakersfield Magazine did find some people who would do almost anything to make a living—and they are definitely of the “odd” persuasion (the jobs, not the people). I’m talking about our Odd Jobs story...these are the jobs your guidance counselor never told you about. The oddity starts on page 43.

And it’s Sizzlin’ Singles time again. We found 29 local singles and followed them for fun “on the town” with miniature golf, salsa dancing, and ice skating.

The great thing about our Singles issue is we do it in conjunction with the Annual Boots and Bachelors Auction for the benefit of the Bakersfield Homeless Shelter. This year’s auction is October 1st at the Crystal Palace and we’re giving you a sneak peek at all the bachelors. That’s right, each of our single men will be auctioned off to the highest bidder! It’s a great night for a great cause. And don’t forget to log on to our website for even more Singles fun.

Of course, with August comes the return of our Annual Dream Homes issue. This year’s section is bursting with some really good news: houses are selling! We talked directly with those in the know—real estate agents and lenders! They offered our readers some great advice on the ins and outs of acquiring a home loan in today’s market and the scoop on Bakersfield’s most popular neighborhoods. And don’t forget to check out our builder profiles! Dream Homes starts on page 53.

Plus, we have all our regular favorites that you’ve come to know and love. It’s another “Sizzlin’ ” issue!

Now I’m off to find some black widows. Enjoy!

Mike Corum

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Article appeared in our 27-3 Issue - August 2010