Social Distortion? Back to Basics

Written by Tracie Grimes

Tattoos that run the entire length of an arm; facial piercings that range from tongue studs to eyebrow rings; iPod earbuds dangling down their camisoles. With their laid-back styles and techno-savvy, women of Generation Y (those born somewhere from the mid-1970s to the early 2000s, also known as the “Millennial generation”) have introduced a more casual culture to the workplace; one that is raising eyebrows.

Employers of a certain age, used to pinstripes and pumps, are keeping an open mind when it comes to the office atmosphere. Thirty-something and baby boomer bosses may not be used to Gen-Y’s ultra-casual culture, but they are finding ways to strike a happy medium as they blend Gen-Y style and technology trends into the office setting—within reason, of course. It just depends on the office setting itself.

Office culture can vary considerably, said Danette Scarry, marketing director for our local Career Services Center. “The atmosphere of a law office is always going to be a more formal setting than that of a bookstore. Large, colorful tattoos and blue hair may be fine for a woman working in a record store or beauty salon, but you have to know the kind of office you’re working for and dress appropriately for that setting. And even though many employers are becoming more accepting of the younger generation’s style, there are some employers who won’t let certain things slide.”

Even on the non-negotiable things, there’s usually a way you can adapt to a workplace’s standards, Scarry pointed out. “We had a young lady at our reception desk that was really doing a good job, but she had tattoos that covered her entire arm. We told her that she’d have to wear long sleeves to cover the tattoos, even in the summer, and it was no longer an issue.”

But even with these concessions and the shift in the office dress code, women are still encouraged to dress for success.

“People notice and remember when you look bad or inappropriate, so the best thing you can do is to dress in a way that will give them a positive impression of you,” Scarry noted, adding that the Career Services Center offers women free classes and professional clothing for those who need a little help or aren’t sure what “professional” dress is. “You’d think that this is something that people know intuitively, but that’s not necessarily the case. It’s always best to ask for advice and make it a point to know what the proper attire is for your work setting.”

As the company dress code enters grayer and grayer areas in the new millennium, there are some things most bosses simply won’t negotiate. Timeliness, politeness, and proper decorum have not become outdated issues.

“Although manners and rules of etiquette continue to evolve and adapt to changing times, the idea behind them remains constant,” explained Gena Martine-Santoni, director of the Martine Cotillions, an organization offering over 6,500 children throughout Southern California (including Bakersfield) practice and instruction in manners, etiquette, and social confidence. “Manners exist to help people get along, to create a playing field where everyone knows what is expected of them, and to generally ease interactions between individuals. When a woman practices good manners, she makes a great impression on others because she appears confident and at ease with herself.”

Even though most women in the workforce today haven’t had any formal etiquette training, many modern moms are hoping to give their daughters a little leverage by enrolling them in etiquette instruction such as cotillion.

“It [cotillion] really conditions children to rise to the occasion,” observed Jennifer Starbuck, who went through cotillion herself as a child and insisted her daughter, Megan, complete the third through eighth grade cotillion sessions. “I think children really get a lot out of cotillion because they’re learning the ins and outs of etiquette; how to introduce yourself and others, how to start a conversation, how to say thank you. These things don’t necessarily come naturally to people and once you’ve gone through cotillion, you find they’re ingrained. And if you practice good manners, it definitely gives you an edge in the business world.”

Proper etiquette may be the best tool an employee or potential employee has on the job, Scarry agreed. “In this economy, there are fewer job openings and more qualified applicants. Job-seekers who display proper manners will definitely stand out from their peers.”

During an interview, for instance, Scarry offered a few basic tips for making a good impression:

• Don’t wear clothing that is too tight or too baggy. Clothes should fit nicely, be clean and stain free, not too revealing (cover the cleavage), and professional from the top down. No sexy sling backs or flip-flops. (“Don’t wear something you’d see in a nightclub.”)

• Keep your makeup light and natural-looking, and don’t go crazy with perfume. “It’s best to skip the cologne altogether.”

• Be on time to the interview and follow up with a thank you note. “A hand-written, snail-mail sent note in which you restate your enthusiasm for the job and the attributes you feel you’ll bring to the company will go a long way in leaving your potential employer with a good impression.”

Since many interviews are conducted over a meal, be sure to brush up on your table manners, Martine-Santoni added.

“Dining etiquette is one of the most overlooked and most important aspects of manners. One’s skills, or lack thereof, can make or break a candidate’s chances of being hired.”

Once you’ve made it through the interview successfully, don’t let your good manners go by the wayside, Scarry warned, adding that employees need to always pay attention to little, day-to-day things.

“Practicing proper office etiquette on a day-to-day basis is a huge thing with employers. Be on time and ready to work every day, look the part, be helpful, and pay attention to what your employer wants from you.”

“One of the most important aspects of manners in today’s business world is electronic etiquette,” Martine-Santoni stressed. “People often unintentionally offend those around them by texting, talking, or emailing in the presence of others. They do not realize that the message they are sending is the person on the other end of the phone or PDA is more important than they are. In a world of instant gratification, we must be careful that we don’t rationalize bad behavior under the guise of urgency or self-importance.”

There’s no question that good manners are your entry to winning over the people around you. Although most workplace etiquette is an unwritten code of conduct, women who know how to behave properly in the workplace have an advantage both personally and professionally. After all, as Emily Post pointed out, “Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor.”

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Article appeared in our 27-6 Issue - February 2011