Western Roundup

Written by Judy Bentivegna

Can you say “yee-haw?” Next time you have the gang over, treat them to a western-inspired hoedown. It’s easy on you and your budget, too. After all, it doesn’t cost a lot of coin to hang a weed out of your mouth. Or to walk around like you just got off a horse–kind of spraddle legged. Ready? Well, let’s get goin’ pardner!

Getting things ready.

Be imaginative and creative with decorations but remember that you don’t have to buy everything. Almost everyone has at least one piece of western gear—boots, hats, rope, badge, cactus, or bandanna. Ask around and borrow heavily. Heck, we live so close to the desert you could just open your door and let the tumbleweeds roll right in! But if you must buy, remember the Code of the West: dollar stores have “pert-near” everything.

Ambiance?

That’s easy, too. Play cowboy love songs. You know—Roy Rogers, Dale Evans, and the “singing cowboy” Gene Autry. Give everyone a stick-on mustache and bandanna to wear. Rent some old cowboy silents and project movies on a wall. Coil natural rope here and there. Make a hoosegow (jail) out of a refrigerator box that’s big enough to get inside and look out through the bars. Take lots of pictures and print them out for the pardners.

Entertainment!

Cowboys loved to play games while on the trail (so I’m told), but you probably want to steer clear of shooting guns, throwing knives, and cracking whips. However, the gang could play “gunslinger poker!” Liven up poker games this way: buy two decks, pull out the aces, kings, and queens from one and add to the other. And who needs the twos, threes, and fours either (talk about loading the deck). Spray small stones gold for gambling “nuggets.” How about a game of horseshoes while the rest of the gang gathers?

Drinks are up.

Mix up your own version of cactus coolers using ginger ale and your favorite fruit. Try sarsaparilla if you can find it (tastes a little like root beer but milder).

Now let’s get on down the trail and make some “grub” sure to please the hungriest cowpoke.

Wagon Wheel “Spokes” & Zesty Ranch Dip

• Medium Zucchinis
• Large Carrots
• Creamy Ranch Dressing
• Smoky Paprika

Wash and slice your veggies into dipping “spokes,” arrange on a round metallic plate (a charger is perfect) like spokes on a wheel. Mix 1/2 teaspoon smoky paprika per cup of ranch dressing. Put a small dish of dressing in the center.

Wrangler Steak

• London Broil Steak (2-3 lb. size)
• 6 oz. Creamy Italian Dressing

Slice 1/16”-deep crosshatch cuts across steak every 1/2 inch, front and back. Put steak in a gallon size plastic zip bag. Pour dressing into bag and seal. Chill in refrigerator at least four hours. Place steak directly on hot grill. Cook to medium for best taste (140 degrees Fahrenheit—the middle is red with pink surrounding the center). Remove from grill and let rest for 10 minutes. Cut steak into 1/8-inch strips against the grain at a 45-degree angle.

Happy Trails Salsa

• 1 lb. Diced Tomatoes
• 1 small Red Onion 2 tbsp. fresh Lime Juice
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh Parsley
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh Basil
• 2 cloves Minced Garlic
• 2 Serrano Chili Peppers, seeded and minced
• 1 tbsp. Smoky Paprika
• 1/4 tsp. Sea Salt (or Kosher Salt)

Combine all ingredients in medium bowl. Use fresh herbs if possible. Cover and refrigerate at least two hours to allow flavors to marry. Serve on the side to dip steak into or drizzle down the middle of slices before serving.

Chuck Wagon Beans

• 1/2 lb. dry Pinto Beans
• 1/2 cup chopped deli style Honey Smoked Ham
• 1 cup finely-chopped Onion
• 1 can Tomato Paste (8 oz.)
• 1/4 cup packed Brown Sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp. Smoky Paprika
• 1/2 tsp. Salt
• 1/2 tsp. Dry Mustard
• 3 slices thick Bacon, cooked, reserving the grease
• 1/2 tsp. Liquid Smoke

Rinse beans. In large saucepan combine beans and four cups water. Bring to boil; reduce heat. Simmer for two minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand one hour. Drain and rinse beans. In same pan combine beans and four cups fresh water. Bring to boiling, reduce heat.

Cover and simmer about one hour or until beans are tender, stirring occasionally. Drain beans, reserving liquid.

Combine beans, ham, bacon, and onion in a quart-size casserole dish. Stir together liquid smoke, brown sugar, smoky paprika, bean liquid, tomato paste, salt, and mustard. Stir into bean mixture. Bake covered in a 325 degree oven about one hour.

Uncover and bake another 45 minutes until desired consistency. Hot Dang! It’s the best foot-stomping’ baked beans your cowpokes will ever “et.”

Bakersfield Blushing Blueberry Corn Muffins

• 1/4 cup Butter, softened
• 1/4 cup Granulated Sugar
• 1/3 cup packed Dark Brown Sugar
• 1 Egg
• 1 cup all purpose Flour
• 1/2 cup Cornmeal
• 2 tsp. Baking Powder
• 1/4 tsp. Salt
• 1/4 tsp. Ground Nutmeg
• 1/2 cup 2% Milk
• 1 cup Blueberries (frozen is fine)

In mixing bowl, cream butter and sugars. Add egg, mix well. Combine flour, cornmeal, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg; add to creamed mixture alternately with milk just until moistened. Fold in blueberries (if using frozen, fold them in frozen). Coat muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray. Idea: Get yourself a fancy muffin pan. It’ll wow your guests! Fill two-thirds full with batter. Bake at 400 degrees for 18-20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Touch top of muffin gently. If it springs back, they’re done. Cool five minutes before removing. Turn pan over and tap pan to release muffins.

Best Campfire Corn Ever

• White or Yellow Corn (with husks on)
• 1 Bacon Slice per ear

Peel back the husks carefully and remove the silk. Smooth husks back into place and soak in cool water for a least 30 minutes. Cook enough bacon to put one slice into each ear. Remove from water and pull back husks slightly to insert the bacon strip. Close up the husk and twist tin foil tops on the ear. Place directly on hot grill. Turn a few times for about 20 minutes. Remove husks and bacon. Enjoy!

Whoa Nelly...let’s not forget the sweet stuff either!

3 Ingredient Dusty Roads Peach Cobbler

• 1 box Yellow Cake Mix
• 1 can Peach Slices in Heavy Syrup (29 oz.)
• 1/2 cup Butter
• Cinnamon (optional)
• Peach Slices (optional)
• Whipped Topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Empty peaches and heavy syrup into the bottom of a 13” x 9” pan. Cover with dry yellow cake mix. Pat cake mix down firmly and evenly using the plastic bag the mix came in. Cut cold butter into thin slices and evenly distribute on top of cake mix. (Yes, real butter...we don’t want to make Julia Child angry!) Sprinkle cinnamon liberally on top. Bake for 45 minutes. Remove from oven when top is golden brown, bubbly, and slightly crispy. Do not overcook!

If desired, slice up a fresh peach and arrange on top. Whipped topping goes mighty well, too (naturally). It’s the easiest, tastiest, chap-slappingest cobbler ever...darn tootin’!

Special note: These dishes are mostly for “lily-livers.” If you want the “smoke-outta-the-ears” versions, try heating up the beans and salsa with liquid smoke and your favorite hot sauce. Sprinkle chili powder on the corn. Or light ‘em up with hot peppers and “horse”radish. Well...then again, you might want to offer these flaming add-ons separately, okie-dokie? You might find yourself in the hoosegow.

Happy trails! Now “git along” little doggies!

Article appeared in our 28-4 Issue - October 2011